The story of living your life, your way

New year, new beginnings!

I don’t know about you, but 2022 was a whirlwind because I feel like I just went crazy trying to do all the things I missed out on during the COVID lockdowns. At times, I nearly wore myself out and by the end of the year, I needed a good break. It was during this break I started reflecting on the stories I tell myself about my life and the way I live it. In Lionheart Society’s RICHES program, the S represents the stories we tell ourselves and others about the way we view, understand and live, life. There’s been some things in my life that I know it’s time to change and to do this, I’m going to have to change some of the stories and inner conversations I have with myself or I’ll unconsciously self-sabotage my efforts for growth and success in 2023. Now is the time to file away some of the old that no longer serves me and create new beginnings that will push me out of my comfort zone and into creating an updated, best version of me. And why is this the time? Because if not now, when? Waiting to start is a choice to not create the change you want to see in yourself (read that again) and that’s why I choose now.

Stories are the glue holding everything together

When we’re going through change, we tell ourselves many stories about why, what, and how we want things to unfold. In the story you create for your life, you need to keep stretching yourself to be the best you can be because living your life, your way doesn’t mean you care only about you; we all have a responsibility to care about and be accountable for the ways our words and actions impact others. When you lead yourself through life, you also become a leader for those around you and it’s a natural progression to want to inspire, support, and help those people create great lives that they get to live, their way. We tell our stories in hindsight and it’s important there is a theme of insight, failure, growth, determination, and success because our stories are the glue that keep us and others going when times are tough. The key traits I choose to work with as I lead myself and others through life vary in their degree of success depending on the situation and the amount of fear, pressure, and stress I’m experiencing at the time. I don’t beat myself up when I don’t do so well, I know I’m a work in progress; always keen to learn, grow, and think, do and be better and that’s how I keep writing the chapters of my life. The traits to work on as you grow and expand the emotional intelligence you need to lead yourself and others through life are:

Self-awareness

Being accountable and responsible for your actions, your decisions, and your impact on others. Knowing and understanding what it’s like to be on the receiving end of your behaviours, seeking and taking on board clarity about yourself; discovering the things you need to stop, start, or keep doing to be a good person to have around.

Self-regulation

Working on processing emotion when the time is right, not when it suits you or in the heat of a moment. Presenting as your best and vulnerable self, resisting the urge and temptation to speak badly to and of others and having an ability to be strategic, forward thinking, and mindful of consequences as you act accordingly.

Empathy

Having empathy for others and also yourself. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others and unpacking them in a journal or some other way so you are better able to understand the situation. Listen with interest, encourage and support those in your world and, in essence, only treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

Social skills

Taking the time and making the effort to engage, observe and be an active listener. Being curious and asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Initiating difficult, interesting, or general conversations offering praise when you can and constructive discussion when you can’t.

Motivation and Discipline

Motivation can be abundant and easy to tap into when you’re excited, enthused and things are going well but it can be difficult to maintain when the going is tough, and times are busy. No one is motivated every single day of the year which is why discipline is a major factor in keeping your

story going and preventing you from giving up, making excuses and self-sabotaging your efforts, hopes and dreams. Your signature story about the type of person you want to be, what you want out of life, what you will and won’t stand for are great motivators but only discipline can push you out of bed each day with the steely determination and resolve required to do all the things that need to get done. The key to maintaining momentum and motivation is understanding how all of these traits in combination with discipline, determination, commitment and conscientiousness impact and influence your ability to keep going as you rise above the challenges and obstacles that come your way.

I found the best way to write the story of living my life, my way was to start by writing my own eulogy and this helped me gain good insight into who I was in that particular moment, what I wanted to be remembered for, what I wanted for my life, and what needed to change. I had to consider what I needed to change if I am to be remembered as loving, supportive, kind, fun and caring; not only by others but also by myself. So, write your stories and live your life, your way but leave a legacy that others will remember with fondness.

Start writing your story, your way

If you’re keen to start writing your story, your way, you can download our free eBook, Become the Author of Your Life here and learn more about the importance of the stories and ways to use, adapt and create them to positively impact your life. This eBook provides tips, tools and techniques to become the Author of Your Life and the Master of Your Destiny because if not you, then who? Click on the button below and get your free, step by step guide to designing your life, your way.

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